To Love After Death.
The wind ruffled her hair in its soft caress, the ends of it tickling her pale skin in its leisure. Sucking in a deep breath, her gray eyes closed themselves on instinct, momentarily, perhaps a wish for them to forever remain the same. Her heart seemed to be at calm for the first time as she parted her eyes apart to relish in the darkness of the water that called out to her in its ravenous depth. The feeling in her chest intensifies, the tightness of it too.
The memories flash in her mind, happy, glad memories that put a smile on her face. She continued to stare at the cold water, her thin shirt allowing a shiver to run down her spine, her mind chiding at her for not carrying a sweater along. She shook her head with her lips twisting up unimpressively, it didn't matter, not when she was standing at the cliff of the bridge, counting the seconds of her remaining life. She clenched her fists, mustering up her strength she needed to give up on her life, she had it in her, she was determined to. Pressing her lips in a thin line, she seemed disappointed at herself, if she could muster a little more of that strength, she believed she could have wanted to live...tried to.
Staring long and hard at the darkness of rushing waves, standing at the cliff of an empty street she took in one last breath. Common folks have gone home, finding comfort with their families and under the warm covers. But she had none to return to, she had no home because home to her was not just a building made of bricks and stones.
It was enough to allow a stray tear to escape from her eyes. Flinging her right leg in the air, she closed her eyes while sucking in a deep breath, ready to meet the death she so craved at the moment. "Here I come, David..."
"It's sad." Her breath locked in her throat, her leg moved back to situate on the solid surface of the cliff, her adventure of the unknown interrupted by a smooth, voice bearing a casual tone. She dare say, she was a bit curious as to what laid ahead after her death.
Biting her bottom lip in an attempt to contain in her annoyance at being stopped from carrying out the important decision of her life, she snapped her head to the source of the voice. Her eyes met with a pair of icy blue ones that stared at her with humor. Littered with tattoos on every part of the body that was naked to her eyes and a smirk that lasted his handsome face could only call for mischief and danger, which made her extremely skeptical of his presence.
A pack of cigarettes hung on his trouser pockets, and one of its stick between his fingers as he took a long drag out of it, his eyes not moving from her pitiful figure.
"What do you want?" She asked irritated.
"To paint you in my heart." She rolled her eyes, despite her serious predicament she wanted to indulge herself into. "Does it actually work?" He grinned at her with his hooded eyes as she waited for him to speak, strangely enough.
"Yeah, after a beer or two." She smiled, much to her dismay. That was not the talk she wanted to indulge in while she was trying to kill herself.
"Then why don't you go, try on someone that it'll work upon. I’m not drunk…" She bit out, there was no anger in her tone, just a wish to be left alone. "And I have important stuff to do..." She sighed.
"Like die?" He backed. She frowned, fully turning to look at him.
"What's it to you?!" She groaned aloud, scowling at his tall stature that moved his leaning self away from the wall to stand erect as he shrugged, "Just curious." He murmured without a pause. "What could lead a gorgeous woman like yourself to want to give up on her life?" He raised at her a single brow, adorned with a stud which further enhanced his devilishly handsome features.
Crossing her arms over her waist, an action not missed by his sharp gaze, she tried to look away from it as it came to rest on hers. "I don't think the purpose of my life is to serve your curiosity." Or the lack thereof.
He didn't reply, instead he walked up to her figure standing directly below it to look above at her broken self. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll take your secret with me to my grave." He stated, crossing his heart in a promise. She scoffed; he could write a fucking book with it for all she cared. "But would you want to die without having it all out of your chest?" The offer was tempting to her ears and him being a stranger made it all the more better, someone that'd forget her and the story of her miseries without having to bear an ounce of burden in his heart.
"Okay..." She sighed, "Only if you promise me that you will not give your advice, tell me I'm strong to live or stop me from dying." He hummed in agreement before speaking in a nonchalant tone, "I can do that."
"May be, you can come down now and we can hear your story." With a nod that seemed reluctant, she stepped out of the cliff and on the bridge; she sat sliding her back against the bridge wall that she stood on top of not long ago. "I don't know where I should begin with..." She whispered looking at him from the side of her eyes. He stared back at her with the sharpness of a hawk, as if any moment he knew he'd have to take action or to prevent her from doing so, she mused.
"Why don't you tell me how your parents would feel when you take your life?" He pushed gently. She turned to him fully then, her hands clasped together and rested on her lap. "My parents are dead." Her voice croaked as she confided in a stranger. "I am an orphan." The words were strained as they escaped from her throat but she had managed to utter them despite it. The guy's eyes remained unchanged, making her disappointed, she didn't know what she was expecting, a comforting smile, perhaps even pity but instead he nodded. "I am sorry..." He sighed.
She shook her head in reply passing him a pained smile. "I don't even remember them, I was too small…only five. I've been with various foster families since then, I wasn't able to fit in well with any of them though." She watched him as he listened with concentration, making her shiver with his unwavering gaze that did not shift nor blink. She wished he'd look away, for the way he'd stare at her, into her tear brimmed eyes seemed as if he could see her very soul. It was dangerously comforting and threatening to her plans.
She shifted her body but did not move her gaze. "What about your friends...or boyfriend?" He dug further, seeing the expression on her face change from joy to sadness to pure agony, the tears she tried to hold for so long fell down her eyes and soon silent sobs erupted from her as she continued to stare at him, the pain in her orbs twisting his heart.
"I..I had a husband." She croaked out between her sobs.
"What happened?" He dared to ask. There was no more effort to stay strong, she didn't try to wipe her eyes off of the tears as she spoke, pouring out her heart to him, she didn't know how much she needed to until then.
"I was an adult and out of the last foster house. Lack of proper education, I was bound to only work as a waitress...."
Wiping her hands in her patterned apron she turned to Mia with a sigh, the day had come to an end and so was her shift. "I am glad we are done for today." She smiled, imagining herself lying on her bed. Mia chuckled her eyes darting at one of the tables behind her. Knowing who it was, she tried not to give it much thought, though the stare burning at her back brought color to her cheeks.
"You really should give him a chance. He's been coming here every day, buying coffee just to see you because you deny him of meeting for one outside this cafe." She shrugged at her friend. It was too much to ask her, working to sustain a life for herself, she doubted she had time to go on dates.
"You know I can't." Mia scowled at her friend's words.
"Come on, I am not asking you to marry him, it's just a date. Have some mercy on that man." She pleaded.
"Fine. Okay, I will." And with a determined stance she walked over the counter to meet the eyes of her admirer, the black orbs stealing her breath away as she neared him.
"Hi, David..." The man smiled with a surprised glint before he spoke in a breathless tone. "Sarah..."
"How come you are here then?" The smile from her face from the memory vanished.
"Because happiness doesn't last long. Mine didn't either." The charming stranger shrugged but did not speak as if he knew that anything, he'd say was only going to make it worse.
"What happened then?" He pushed, hesitant, he wasn’t sure if she wanted to share anymore. But he had to keep pushing, keep her going, anything to stall her.
"I was pregnant..." Her hands slid over her stomach, clutching it as the memories plagued her mind. "Sarah...Sarah…!"
"Sarah! Sarah! You need to breathe!" She heard her husband scream as he clutched onto her hands in a tight hold. "You're gonna be alright, love. Our child will be fine!" He cooed against her face, feeling him caress her face with his hand, pushing away the sweaty locks from her face. She was terrified on the inside but she did not let it show as she passed him a smile. She was earlier than the date. Although premature births were not unheard of, the fear always exists. The tension had been so since her pregnancy, the doctor had warned the child was weak but the abortion was not an option for them. She could never do it, if there was even one percent of chance of survival she'll go through with it, she had told the doctor.
"Mister, we gonna have to ask you to stay out." The nurse spoke as they took her away from his grasp, he was hesitant, but her condition did not need to be burdened with his protests and so he let her go, praying in his heart that both the child and his wife stays healthy and alive but the feeling of dread did not leave.
The doors were pushed open with a jerk that had her wrenching her eyes open only to wince at the light that hit her senses directly. Marching inside the room that she was made to rest in, her husband took her in his arms showering her with light kisses and if she had any strength she'd have been ecstatic but with the anticipation of seeing her daughter in her was large as she whispered out, "I wanna see my daughter, Dave.." David froze. A broken sigh escaped his lips as he pulled away from her. His eyes held pain, so much so that they spoke to her of what he wasn't able to.
"David...?" She called out in caution. "Where's my d...daughter?" Tears slid from her eyes as she waited for him to deny, to say how wrong she was to think something so ridiculous, to surprise her with his smile saying that she was fine, say something! But he remained mum.
"I am sorry, love..." He bent his head in shame, unable to meet a mother's eyes.
"No!" She screamed out, pushing him away, detaching the IV tube that stung but nothing compared to the sting at her heart. "No! No! No!" She continued to scream, holding her hair in a bunch within the palm of her hands as she bawled her eyes out. "My daughter's alive!" She looked at him for confirmation as she slid from her bed to stand weakly but he shook his head with a sigh. "Say it, dammit!" She growled out as she escaped his hold and in her disheveled state marched out of the hospital room making people stare. She didn't know what she was doing, where she was planning to go but she went from one hallway to another, searching for his daughter that couldn't make it.
"Hush, Sarah, calm down." Dave whispered as he finally had her in his burly arms. "You're going to be fine, love." He continued to whisper in her ears. "We're gonna be fine. You have me. We will always have each other..."
"Will you be fine?" Sarah smiled at her husband, her hope for her to keep on living her life, to be able to fight everyday with the ache of loss in her heart.
"Yes, Dave, for the hundredth time, I'll be fine." She laughed as he took her in a kiss, as always pouring his heart and soul in it as he reluctantly let her go. "You know you're going for only a week to Italy, right?" She winked, knowing the affect she has on him. He sighed pulling her to his chest. "A week seems like a year without you." He kissed her forehead before whispering against her skin, "Miss me much, okay?" Breathing in her scent one last time, he let her go, as he let it engrave into his mind and soul.
"I will." She promised, watching him walk away from her, making her miss his presence the next instant before he disappeared inside his car. Since her failed delivery and the loss of their daughter, it was the first time, he was leaving abroad, like his job as a journalist required him to do.
Wiping her hands over her apron, she smiled at the ring of the phone. It has only been an hour since he left and he couldn't stop himself from calling. Giggling to herself she stared at the familiar number on her screen before responding. "You know it's only been-" "I am sorry to inform you, Mrs. Williams. Your husband has met with an accident and is now being taken to the hospital." A crash was heard as the phone from her hand slipped and met the floor, just like her life except there was no sound of crashing but only sobs, like she knew her life was over. And over it was for her as the doctors announced him taking his last breaths.
"Please..don't leave me, Dave. I can't live without you." She begged, holding onto his paled face, his eyes silently drifting close as he muttered the last words of his life. "Please...live for me, love..."
"Sarah! Sarah!" Coming out of her trance, she stared at the tattooed guy screaming her name, shaking her with his hands on her shoulders. "Are you alright?" His voice soft, soothing like the caress of a petal, except it affected her deeper, a very familiar feeling thriving in her heart, something she thought she'd never be able to feel again. He stared at her so tenderly, so gently, like there was nothing in the world that he'd rather do but gaze at her. Fidgeting in her place she looked away, staring at the abandoned street as he let go of her to sit back in his place.
"What are you doing at this time of the night here anyway?" She inquired after a few moments of silence. She raised a brow at him as she turned back to look at him, folding her legs within herself and wrapping her arms around her folded legs, resting her chin on her knees while waiting for his reply.
"I came to rescue you, of course." He replied, his voice serious as he stared at her intensely. Then he smiled, making her scoff at him. She rolled her eyes at him. "Sure, my knight in shining armor." Chuckling at her words, he suddenly stood up dusting his pants; she stared at him with confusion.
Realisation fell upon her, the reason for why she was there, she remembered as she stood up after him. Turning back to the waters, she spoke. "As you know now, I really don't have anything to live for." She shrugged, her hands taking hold of the bridge fence, her head turned in his direction, for what, she knew not.
"Let's take a walk." He suggested, surprisingly. She laughed, despite herself.
"I thought you promised on not trying to convince me." His lips curved, he wasn't so discreet after all. "You know, there's still a couple of hours before sunrise, you'll have much time to do what your heart desires..trust me." Although she didn't completely understand his words, she nodded stepping beside him as she walked alongside him, in not any particular direction or so she thought.
"...my friend did tell me to stay at hers and I did for a certain period of time but I was homesick, my life began and ended at my husband's house and I couldn't seem to let it go. I can't..." She muttered the last words to herself but he heard it anyway.
Her stride stopped as she turned to face him and he followed suit, her action. "There's something I wanna know though..." She mused out loud. He sighed, his hand sliding through his hair, an action she was very familiar with but found no relation to. He grinned, touching the ends of his hair on his neck in nervousness as if he knew what she was going to ask. "You've told me nothing about yourself...what is your name?"
"Da...uh...Th…Thomas." He answered, his eyes staring elsewhere as she instantly missed his blue orbs upon her gray ones. Chiding to herself that she was being insane, she cleared her throat, grasping his attention back to herself and it was if she couldn't breathe, her heartbeat raced, the eyes seemed the same shade of her late husband in darkness of the night but only for a second before they shifted back to their blues. She was in delusion, she told herself. Regaining her composure, she coughed out loud to reduce the awkwardness of the situation.
"And what do you do?" "Can you promise me something?" She frowned as he answered her question with his own but simply nodded, waiting for him to elaborate. "If you by any chance... decide not to...um...d...die." He let out the word like it was costing him his. "And if we meet again, go out with me." She wanted to laugh and reply in sarcasm but the way he stared at her, all fun absent from his face, he seemed in pain, like it ached him more than it ached her to produce that question.
She nodded simply, a blush covering her cheeks. "So..., are you going to answer my question?"
His gaze travelled to the back of her as she furrowed her brows. "I would have, but we are already home." So involved in conversing with him she didn't realise that she had reached her home. Turning around instinctively she breathed in at the sight of her house, the lamps at the foyer still seemed to be on, she had forgotten to turn them off...
B...But how did he know where I lived..? The air left her lungs, suddenly embraced by him, cocooned in his arms from the back. His tattooed arms tugging her to himself his face buried in her neck, taking in her scent in a way she remembered it too well. "I've missed so damn much..." The voice, she could never forget that voice, how could she when it was his. "D...Dave?" She choked out in his embrace, how has she not known before! How was he different?! With a kiss on her neck, the arms left her body before she even had the chance to hold onto them. The presence around her disappeared with the parting words that said, "Live for me...love."
Turning back instantly her hands held out to take him in her hold; she came out empty as they searched through the air. Taking the support of the steeled gate, she sucked in the much-needed air. He was here, for me. And with that, she stood straight back up, opening the gates of the house and entered her home to begin her life anew. To continue to live for him.
"Girl, you're taking in for me." Mia called as she slid out of her apron. "It's time for my break!" Smiling at her in confirmation she took her place at the counter as she called out to the next customer in line, her head down as she readied herself to type the order. It has been over a month since the incident and as difficult as it was, she had decided to live. Even if she cried in bed at nights, she'd make sure to wake up with a smile. Lately it has been easier, the feeling of loss was no less but she was getting strong enough to bear.
"One cappuccino..." She stilled for a moment before shaking her head. She was being crazy.
"One sweet pie, a smile from you and your phone number." Jerking her head up, her eyes connected with the familiar icy blue ones, tattooed arms and devilish smile on his lips stared back at her. "Dave...?" She let out on instinct. The familiar yet strange guy chuckled at her before speaking. "I don't know if I have a twin, but my name's Thomas." He grinned his oh so familiar grin. "And I'd really like to go out with a beautiful woman like yourself..., if you don’t think I’m being too forward about it." He added.
"Yes..." She breathed out. His brows furrowed, "Is it about the twin or..."
"Yes, I'll go out with you..."